Dr. Gary Ledbetter

Download

"God is all-powerful and all sufficient; you are weak.

When you pray a God-dependent prayer, He will change you.

When going through an affliction as the Ledbetter’s are at this time

with his wife’s cancer, pray for God to be glorified.

Pray for healing if it will bring Him glory.

David asked God for mercy and healing (Psalm 6:2).

He cried out in his brokenness. Let your prayers express a

dependency on God as David’s did."

From:  http://www.bju.edu/events/chapel/notes.php

 **************************************************************

Do you ever get “the grass is always greener” syndrome? 

We are not a very content society.  People move from place to place and travel all over.

They seem to always feel that there are more opportunities for them somewhere else.

Well, we did that years ago and moved across the country.  It did not work out well,

and the five years we spent in that area were the hardest in our lives—though we learned

priceless lessons.  The Lord has graciously seen us through all of that and moved

us elsewhere through a job situation.  Even through our mistakes, errors and

misunderstanding…the Lord has always been so good to us!

We are thrilled to be where we are now, and we hope to stay put. 

Do you feel pushed into moving somewhere else?

There are two sides to this.  Of course we want to be where the Lord would have us to be.

Sometimes He has people go somewhere else, but if all went then there would be little

structure left in families and communities. 

As far as ministries go, there are always opportunities to live life for the Lord Jesus Christ,

wherever  He has you.  You don’t ever need to go somewhere to do that.

Ministry is not a separate entity from a Believer’s life, it is part of who they

are and what they do.

There are seasons when one can be more involved in things, and there are seasons when

one should be focusing on raising their family and not get involved in everything that comes

along their way.  Balance is the key.  Not balance from a system, but balance to the Lord.

 Look at all of the instructions given in scripture to the Believers after the Lord’s resurrection.

Did He tell everyone to leave their homes and families and go elsewhere?   Or did He, through

Paul and others inspired by God to write His word, tell of how Christian families should be

structured and the responsibilities people have to their own families? 

If young people all abandon their aging parents,  that doesn’t seem very wise

in respecting and honoring parents.

Sometimes I wonder if leaders who push for everyone to go somewhere else, have looked

at what Jesus said to the Pharisees in Mark 7:11-12:

11 but you say, 'If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever

I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God),'

12 you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother ;  NASB

I think in our culture there are such extremes and confusion.

  On the one side, there are those who  don’t think their grown children should

ever leave them.  They should stay under the rule of the parents

and not break off at all.  Well, that is clearly not what scripture teaches in

the New Covenant of Grace. 

Men are to leave the authority of their parents and cleave to their wife

and the two become one.  They are starting their own family, but that doesn’t

mean the parents cease to exist or that they aren't to have any influence in their children's lives. 

If they have Christian parents who love the Lord Jesus, it would be wise for them

to seek counsel from them at times.  But one needs to be careful in that,

that they do not undermine their spouse for the wishes of their parents.

We should all show respect and honor to the position of our parents and

be willing to take care of them in their old age. 

 I have heard of situations where the grown children lived on the same property as parents, took care of

their parents as they aged, and valued the relationship that their children were able to have with their grandparents. 

My husband was saying that in this culture often a man is not considered a man until he leaves his parents'

home.   But in the Jewish culture, the men would build on to the house of his parents and have his own

family there.    We’re not in the Jewish culture, but his point is that leaving the parents' authority and

providing for one’s own family, does not necessarily mean you have to move a large distance away from

them.

I’ve also heard of manipulating in-laws who try to run all the affairs of their children’s lives.

Living in close proximity was a great burden and hardship on the young couple. 

They never snipped the apron strings and became their own family or made their own decisions,

and the parents did everything they could to make sure they didn't.

 There doesn’t seem to be a set standard of what people should or must do.

 There are principles though.

On the other side, I see well meaning teachers and pastors pushing young people to leave and go

somewhere else.  A total detachment from their parents is promoted, in order to look for a ministry far

away. I think this comes from well meaning people who have been in a system-think of doing this for years.

That is how they got started, so that is what they continue to encourage others to do. 

While I do believe the Lord leads people absolutely to go places and do things for Him, He doesn’t have

everyone doing the same things.   I also believe we aren’t to sit in judgment in either direction, those

who do go,  or those who stay and live for the Lord in the same town where they were born.  One way is not more

holy than the other.   I do not see the term professional missionary taught in scripture.  I do see that the

Apostles went on “missions” to preach the gospel and start local gatherings of believers along the way. 

They didn’t seem to encourage lots of folks in those local gatherings to leave, though some men were

commissioned to go elsewhere and some had to, due to persecution.   I think it is good to pray for those

abroad who are sharing the true gospel and reaching people for Jesus Christ!  People should give

generously to this cause and support those who are out there with the love of the Lord.  But when a line

is crossed to make it a doctrine that all must go away, we need to be careful that the leaders are not

supporting the Korban  type philosophy. 

Some will cite Luke 14: 

26"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children

and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

27 "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

28 "For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and

calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?”

I kind of cringe when I hear that used to support why someone must go away from their family.

Of course we should be willing to give up everything for the sake of Jesus Christ, but  If

people are being encouraged to abandon their responsibilities in order to go minister to others…that is a

problem.  It’s like discontentment is being taught and pressure is placed on people to go do something

that takes lots of money and gives them an “experience”, instead of training them to be content where

the Lord has them.  Staying put may help in teaching  them the tools of being a good steward of what

they’ve been given.

God will not contradict His word.  He would never ask a person to get a divorce so they could

go serve the Lord better on their own.  He would never tell them to abandon their children to an institution

to be raised so that they can go on the mission field. (Their children are their first mission field!)

  He never says forget about your old folks in need and go start an exciting ministry somewhere else.

These would all go against the clear directions, values and principles He has for family relations in

scripture.   

 Believing Christians should love one another and take care of their responsibility to their families.  If

there is a need, they shouldn’t say, “be warm, be filled” and go off on their merry way.  Again, they

clearly should not be under the rule of their parents when they are adults, but that doesn’t mean they

cut all ties and like the world, must go off and seek their fortune (or ministry) like the three little pigs. 

I think both sides seem to be reactionary to the other.  One sees the error of abandoning family relations

and running their lives like businesses instead of caring for others, which takes a lot of time and effort.

They see children abandoned to day care facilities and government schools.  They see elderly parents dropped off

in government nursing homes.  They see families drift apart and have little contact.  They see grandparents

not able to reap the blessing of seeing their grandchildren grow-up.  In the go-go-go society they see

torn relationships and unresolved problems being ignored for the sake of, um... ministry.

So they are drawn into the ditch of the patriarchy or multi-generational movement where they all stay

cloistered in community and under the rule of the parents 'til death do they part.  This controls the situation.

But it is not what we are told we must do in the New Covenant. 

The other side sees how that can stifle the young person and,  how many in that movement,

don't feel any need to share the gospel with others.   The family becomes the gospel. 

So in reaction to that, some of these people push for everyone

to leave their homes at a certain age and go away into ministry.  Instead of reacting to one thing or the other,

we should live our purpose for the Lord Jesus Christ day in and day out.  Seeking His will for us and always

in line with His word and His Spirit within all true Believers.  

It seems more admirable to me to see young people working hard and preparing to raise their children

in the nurture and ways of Jesus Christ, than to go off on a dozen short term missions trips and get into

the groove of go, go, go and leave no time to building and nurturing valuable relationships with others.

A person can serve the Lord just as much at home as they can somewhere else.  Though it may be

tougher to stay home and not as prestigious in the view of some. 

 Those who will stay the course and take care of family when there is need, and work on relationships

 so that their children can be blessed to know and appreciate their own grandparents—are a blessing! 

I know a lady, whom I respect very much for her decisions.  She takes care of her elderly parents. Every

day she attends to their needs and they are still able to stay in their own house.  Her mother is now

unable to get out of her bed.  Her father, in his late 80s, can still get around,  she stays with her mother so he can

have lunch with friends and get some exercise.  She makes sure all their needs are taken care of each

day. This lady has been through incredible hardships and trials in life that she could have let destroy her,

but she continues to joyfully serve the Lord in taking care of her parents, and in showing the love of

Jesus to everyone she meets.   She is a beautiful example for the Lord Jesus.    I sometimes just well up

thinking about her, what she has been through… and her steadfast desire to live her purpose before her

Lord exactly where He’s placed her.   Her example is a blessing to me.  She doesn’t seek fame or glory.

 She knows her ministry, and it isn’t out in a far away country.  That may have been an easier road for

for she and her husband to take, but they stayed true to the course the Lord has set before them.   

It seems we don’t have a normal sense of responsibility anymore.  There are so many voices telling

people what they must do.  You MUST stay home until your parents die.  You MUST go on the mission

field and use your talents elsewhere.  But when I look at the word of God, in this regard I only see one

“YOU MUST”…and that is to live all of life wherever you are for Jesus Christ!  So if that does mean going

somewhere, then go---but make sure it is what the Lord is leading you to do, not just pressure from

others.  If that means staying and taking care of the needs of your parents or grandparents, then

stay….do it all for the glory of Jesus Christ!   Wherever you are, you are to minister to others or “be in

ministry”… but not as a separate part of your life.  There are different roles people have and their skills

and abilities should be used for the Lord in all of life: in business, and in service to others when the Lord opens those

 doors.  But there is not a cookie cutter format for everyone to follow.  Many seem to tend to think that

the way they did things or the way the Lord called them to do things is right for everyone.  But that can

be just prideful or a desire to justify what we have done or are doing.    Let’s not pressure one another

to do what we do, and let’s also not judge those who do something other.  God calls different people to

do different things.  Follow His leading and keep in mind all He teaches us in His word, not just one

portion.

I’ve told my children that if the Lord leads them to go somewhere, than they do so with my full

blessing, prayers and love.  But they really need to pray about it and make sure it is His leading, not

someone else’s expectations.    I don’t hope they go.  I’d love to have them stay nearby and

would enjoy watching them raise families for Christ, serving Him throughout their lives.   However, I

don’t want to stand in their way if there is some reason they believe they should move away. 

I desire that they serve and follow the Lord Jesus Christ in all things and that may be near us or away.

I can't see the future, no one can. But I do see the possibilty of one of our sons becoming an

evangelist in the future.  I've thought this since he was quite young.  I don't know that he will do that,

he's in college right now.  But I would not be surprised if the Lord leads him to that. 

I would not be surprised if our other son stays put and is a hard working man in the line of

work he does, steadily living for the Lord and content where he's at.

God does make each person different and has different things in store for their lives.

...and our daughters, well at this point all of them are interested in pursuing music to teach out of their

homes or possibly together in a small studio.  But their "goal" is to each marry a man who loves the Lord Jesus

Christ and be his helper, raising children for the Lord and sharing the love of Jesus Christ and His gospel of

truth with others as they go along their way.  That will be their "ministry".

  So, I have no idea where each will end up. They all will need to make their own decisions,

and that will be done with their spouse…the two will be one.